„I/E mmigrant”, by Bogdan Dumitrescu
2024, Norway, copyright Bogdan Dumitrescu 930.55.239
Introduction - a kind of interactive monologue
(the actor speaks in the country language, and then switches to his/her own mother tongue)
Immigrant:
Hello, my name is (real name) and I am an actor. The author chose to speak to the audience himself. Personally, I didn't agree with it, I mean, what's the point, he could have video projected something, made an instagrammable video, or something created by AI, what the hell? I told the director I could make something for free, but don't make me come here and talk to you, it's stupid and nobody wants to see it in the theater. Plus, no actor in the world knows how to do this authentically, we feel every time we talk to the audience that it's fake, pointless and boring! Right? Isn't it? It's boring for us actors, but also for you, the audience, right? Hands up those who honestly think it's boring! Seriously, I'm asking you, I've even made a bet with the director about it, come on, hands up! Yes, so it's obviously boring! He didn't accept, so I had to accept. I mean... I'm an actor, I can't say no to any job, I'm starving, right? Sorry about the “no”! I've said it a thousand times, but he's only said no once, so now I'm sitting here talking to you and that's it. Great!
Back to my text... The play is called “I/E-immigrant”. Everyone knows what that means, right? Hands up those who know what the word means. Okay, I understand. I have one more question, please help me: Has anyone ever seen an immigrant? I know it may seem politically incorrect, it may bother you, you may not need to raise your hand, you may not want to raise your hand, that's your right. Anyway, if you want to raise your hand, if you don't want to, don't! But even if you have the courage to do it, and if you don't, think about it: Have you seen an immigrant? And if you have, raise your hand in thought. I see that you know what the title of the piece means. I have one more question: Is there anyone in this room who is an immigrant? Raise your hand, please! If you want to help me, raise your hand! If not, no, you can say no, only actors can't say that! Is there really an actor or actress in the audience?
(If yes, the actor can improvise a line or several, how does he want)
(he goes back to the text)
HE.
Are there any immigrants in the audience who would like to raise their hands?
(he, the speaking actor raises his hand)
Okay, I understand.
(the actor continues the text in his mother tongue)
Then you know what I'm talking about, even though you may not all understand me right now as I speak “in another language”. The author is also an immigrant, and this is how he has chosen to tell his story, with these words.
(the actor goes back to Norwegian)
“I have a two-year-old kid who has started kindergarten here. He doesn't speak your language very well, I mean he speaks it like any two-year-old who came to here six months ago. In kindergarten he is only spoken to in Norwegian. The teachers say he understands, I think he “understands” something, but I also think he lives in constant fear that he might miss something second by second. When I pick him up, he clings to me and doesn't let go until I get home. The next morning, when I leave him there again, he does the same. Of course, all children can do this, it's normal, I know the “psycho-pupu-pediatric” theories, I don't care, but I also know one thing: for an immigrant child it's harder.
The adult immigrant is the same as this child, only in a bigger body. Second by second, he is on guard not to miss anything, from a simple “Bag” at the checkout in the supermarket to the complicated “And what do you expect from this job?” when he goes for his first job interview.“
Good... Before I came here, I spent four months learning the language. With duolingo, then on zoom with a teacher, and then physically, face to face with a teacher. When I got here, I realized that what I hear spoken has little to do with what I have learned at home. The first scene is about how I tried to learn the language before I came here. Let's take the first scene!
scene I- I am, you have
HE
I am, you have, he/she works, We come from, You don't come from, They speak.
SHE
Take it slower and more focused, just start with the present tense of the verb “I am”.
HE
Don't tell me, I'm doing what I can!
SHE
I'm not saying anything, just that you're not doing well. You can't learn by conjugating different verbs random, it's stupid what you're doing!
HE
I learn better that way!
SHE
You only seem to learn, you don't learn anything! A foreign language is learned in the same way as mathematics, you have to learn the formulas very well first, you do nothing by ear!
HE
Yes, I do!
SHE
Why are you so aggressive?
HE
Why don't you let me do it my way?
SHE
You'd better start practicing the past tense, you know that tomorrow is a long time away? Do you know that or not?
HE
I know, and I don't!
SHE
Why don't you do them? You're acting like a child!
HE
What do you mean, i am a child? you're looking after two children? Do you have to take care of me and the little one?
SHE
Don't shout, you'll wake him up and I can't sleep!
HE
I'm not shouting, I'm talking louder! Professional defect, I'm an actor! I mean... let's use the past tense, so you can see that I know how to use it: In my country, I WAS an actor! It's a past action, well delineated in time and space and completed! So we use the past tense! Is that a good thing?
SHE
You woke up the baby!
(He goes out, he stays alone. writes several verbs, also different, as he did earlier)
HE
I am, you have, he/she works, we come from, you don't come from, they talk.
(she comes back)
HE
Has he fallen asleep again?
SHE
Yes, he has.
HE
I'm sorry,baby. I'm sorry. I'm scared, maybe.
SHE
You know we don't have to go there, we can go to Spain or stay at our place.
HE
I said we're going, we're going. It's going to be alright.
SHE
Do you want to make love?
HE
What if the baby wakes up again?
SHE
He won't wake up. Do you remember that? Happy mama, happy kido!
(the two kiss. fade out. silence for 5 seconds, then the baby cries)
*if you have any sugestions, send me an email at bogdan dot dumitrescu at yahoodotcom*
